Studio of the Future?

A local Florida studio is preparing for the next wave of pop music talent. The 700 Chilled Brains (700cb) studio claims it will create the first kid-friendly studio in the country.

A spokesperson for Chilled Brains, Anachostic (no last name given), explained: “The pop music scene is demanding younger and younger vocal talent. Up until now, recording studios were not prepared for this demographic. 700 Chilled Brains has a history of kid-friendliness, so it is up to us to fill this void.”

Anachostic (no last name given) is referring to recent Disney stars like Hilary Duff, who started her singing career at 15, Hanna Montana who started at 13, and Everlife, whose members started at 13, 11 and 8. Anachostic continued, “We are going to cater directly to the next generation of pop star. Our studio will have amenities like a jungle gym and a huge sandbox. Our clients can relax in the “pink room”, which is stocked with Capri Sun and Haribo gummy bears, imported from Germany. They would certainly expect no less.”

A review of the studio blueprint does show an equal balance of recording areas and play zones. The wading pool in studio C is expected to draw some high-profile artists. Not only providing fun, the studio’s recording equipment will be built to higher-than-normal standards. Anachostic explained, “Our mixing console is custom-made. Every single channel has a pitch-correction effect unit built in. No matter if the client is singing, playing guitar, or drumming, they will sound good.”

700 Chilled Brains gave careful consideration to the business model. Anachostic explained, “We had a meeting with our close partner, UD Inc., and decided we wanted to make this investment in the future of music.”

Virtual Dave (no last name given) of UD Inc., commented: ”When Anachostic first brought up the idea, my first thought was, ‘This guy’s been talking to himself way too much.’ But after I considered the concept, I realized that we are going to be deluding children into thinking they are more special than they really are. We’re going to help expose an entire family to sudden fame and fortune, resulting in terrible tension within the unit. Finally, we’ll be exploiting children for monetary gain, and you know… we’re ok with that.”

There is no defined completion date for construction of the studio.

700 Chilled Brains is a full music production outfit in operation since 1986. The group has composed and recorded many original songs which have received mixed reviews from both adults and children. The group maintains a website at www.700cb.com.

UD Inc. is a partner of 700 Chilled Brains and does not want any public exposure of its business practices.